Battlefield
by Nerwen Aldarion
Summary: Jane and Lisbon are in court battle...against each other. As the fighting turns ugly they bring out the worst dirty laundry they have, and the team gets divided and drawn into the mix. It'll be hard for them to forget what was said, if it is even possible


Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: This is me falling for peer pressure. I've had this little fic tucked away on my harddrive for a while now and the muse bit me. I started scoping it out to friends who begged me to post it but I held back. I've been leery to post since I get so many negative reactions to posting new stuff and it's not easy to face. But I love my fans who have been begging for something, ANYTHING from me. Since I'm only about three or so chapters from finishing You're In My Veins I decided to throw this one in.

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><p>Battlefield<p>

Chapter 1: The Declaration

_ The courtroom was completely silent except for the sound of shuffling feet and Lisbon's own heartbeat drumming in her ears. She stared down at the smooth wood of the table in front of her, an empty notepad and a pen rested by her hand but she didn't touch them. She shifted in her seat again, the hard wood was not comfortable or maybe it was the room itself that did that._

_ Lisbon glanced to the side to see Harriet next to her, being calm and focused, looking over their notes as if she was certain of the outcome, as if this wasn't that big of a deal. Maybe it wasn't to her. Maybe this was just another case. _

_ She tugged on her sleeves and her eyes looked back behind her where the rest of the team was sitting. Their faces were stoic and sad; they glanced around the room awkwardly, sometimes looking over at the other side as if wondering if they should have sat there. Grace caught her eye for a few seconds, Lisbon saw pain…and shame. They were all ashamed that they were here. They were all ashamed about what had happened._

_ The sound of the door opening from the judge's chambers interrupted the horrid silence and the bailiff ordered everyone to stand as the judge entered the room. Only now did Lisbon look over at the other side of the room…at the man she was fighting a war with._

_ Jane was looking at her too._

_ Their eyes met and for a very long time they held their gaze. She didn't know why he'd been looking at her, if he was feeling the same restless uneasy emotions. She knew he must have felt the pain, the heartache, the shame over what they had allowed this to become. There were no innocent people in this fight; they had both sinned, badly._

_ She still couldn't look away._

_ He simply stared back with wide probing eyes. And then she knew exactly what he was thinking, the same question she had on her mind._

_ How did we get here?_

_ "We are here today to issue a ruling on the case of Jane vs. Lisbon to settle the matter of custodial rights of one Daniel Patrick Lisbon, age four months." The bailiff finally remained silent and the judge was able to looked up from his podium with his horn-rimmed glasses._

_ Lisbon held her breath and waited for his answer…_

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><p>Daniel was fussing again and Lisbon checked to see if he was wet again. Nope, he was dry and he couldn't be hungry already. She picked him up and gently rocked him in her arms. "What's the matter? What's so important that you need to be heard?"<p>

Her son hiccupped once and then smacked his lips quieting to a soft whimper before resting comfortably. She couldn't help but grin. "Oh, so that was the problem, you just wanted a little attention."

He peeped at her with his big soft blue eyes and scrunched his eyebrows low onto his face, as if wrinkling his nose in displeasure. "Don't deny it, little trouble maker, I caught you!" Lisbon nuzzled his nose with her own, "you can't fool Mommy."

Lisbon laughed again and kept her son in her arms, holding him up against her shoulder and rubbing his back soothingly while she walked around the room. She hummed lightly under her breath to try and keep him quiet. Sometimes she still couldn't quite believe that this was happening, that she had a son, a tiny baby that was hers to love and raise. So much had happened over the past eighteen months, a whirlwind of fear, joy, pain, heartbreak and finally happiness. Somehow she had managed to find a way to create a new life from it all, one that she was proud of.

"Okay, Daniel, you need to try and get some sleep so Mommy can get some things done," she declared, gently laying her son down in his little bouncy seat. He let out one fussy cry before quieting down and she sighed in relief that he was actually following her instructions. That would be a first.

She was reaching for the laundry basket when she heard the knock on the door. Lisbon rolled her eyes, recognizing that this was just her luck. It was probably Grace wanting to show off some new outfit for Daniel or being considerate and bringing her some food. "Just use your key, Grace!" Lisbon called out, folding the towel she had just picked up.

But the knocking continued and she threw the towel down with a sigh. "Did you forget your key again? I know I did five times but I had an excuse, I had pregnancy brain so what is yours?" Lisbon asked as she unlocked the door with a laugh only to gasp in shock. It wasn't Grace waiting on the other side of the door.

It was Jane.

He stood there looking slightly disheveled, not like he was on a bender, more like that he had driven all night or come straight from the airport. He smiled softly at her, slightly sheepish. "Hello, Lisbon."

For a second all she did was stare at him…then she shut the door quickly.

He began knocking again immediately but Lisbon didn't say anything. She couldn't, the lump in her throat prevented her from speaking. Instead she leaned up against the door, burying her face in her hands as she tried to regain control of her emotions.

"Lisbon? Teresa? Please…can we talk?"

Lisbon shook her head and drew in a shaky breath but she still couldn't stop crying. "I…I need a minute," she told him. She let herself cry for a few seconds, needing to unleash some of these emotions or she would never be able to get through this.

She heard a few thumps and shuffling from the other side of the door and something that sounded like a soft painful sigh. But she couldn't think about what he was doing or what he was feeling, the only thing that mattered was that he was here.

It took a long time but Lisbon finally managed to get her body back under control. Her hands still shook a little as she opened the door and there was no hiding the tracts her tears had left on her cheeks. Jane looked like he was only a few steps behind her there; he ran one hand through his hair while sighing again. "I…I should have called you but I just had to get here, I…I didn't stop all night. I wasn't thinking about what this would do to you I just…came."

Lisbon opened her mouth and then shut it then opened it again. "Jane…I…what are you doing here?"

Jane met her eyes with a said sheepish gaze. "I want to see our son."

The words 'our son' sent her emotions spiraling again. Lisbon choked up, trying not to cry once more. She cleared her throat and managed to keep more tears from spilling. "It has been a while, Jane, and you…you left."

"I know," He said softly, "but I'm here now and I just…I want to see him."

She studied him for a long while, searching to see if there was any catch, any game that she was missing. But all she saw was an earnest plea from a desperate man.

"O-okay," she stammered out, stepping aside to let him into her apartment.

Jane took a few steps in but stopped. She briefly wondered if he was going to flee but she saw that he was waiting for her to make these introductions.

Lisbon quickly made her way over to the living room and bent over to pick up her son from his bouncing seat. He was awake, letting out a soft whimper as she lifted him into her arms. She caught Jane's gaze and took one small step towards him.

"I…I named him Daniel," Lisbon told him, "I didn't know what you had in mind we…we hadn't decided or really talked…" her voice trailed off when she saw that he was staring at the baby in her arms, gaping at him like he was a wonder to behold.

His eyes were wet with unshed tears as he drank in the sight of their son. Finally he spoke, in a low husky voice that was choked with emotion. "He…he has blonde hair."

She nodded and rested her cheek on the top of his head. "My brothers make fun of me for that, all of the kids are brunette except mine." Lisbon kept her eyes on Jane. "He looks a lot like you.

Jane took a few tentative steps towards them, now she saw that a few tears were seeping out of the corners of his eyes. "He's beautiful."

Lisbon didn't reply to that, she agreed completely. Daniel let out another little gasp and she looked down at him and then back up to his father, the father that had never met him until now. "Do you…would you like to hold him?"

He looked surprised by that question but she saw real hope in his eyes. "Yes, I…I do."

She slowly walked back over to Jane and gently placed Daniel in Jane's waiting arms. He quickly adjusted to hold the baby like an expert, letting the baby's head rest against the crook of his arm. Jane gazed down at his son in wonder for a very long time. Then he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead softly against the baby's, breathing in and out deeply.

"I'm sorry," Jane whispered, "I'm so sorry I left."

Lisbon didn't know who he was apologizing to, her or their son but they both needed one…and it would be hard to accept.

He met her eyes again, tears still shining in his gaze. "Daniel is a good name."

She smiled softly and nodded. "Yes it is."

And she stood there letting a father meet his son. The questions, the fears, the doubts, all of that could come later. Right now she just wanted to let her son be in his father's arms.

Everything else could wait.

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><p>Lisbon was a little late coming in to the CBI the next morning. That wasn't entirely unusual, not when she had to wait for her nanny to show up in the mornings before leaving to go to work. Some days she was a little late but there was very little she could do to control traffic patterns.<p>

The rest of her team was already there and diligently working on their latest case. She smiled softly at them, the small bit of familiarity she needed after all of the chaos she had been through. She didn't know what was going to happen, not now. She had only just managed to get her life sorted back into something she could manage; now the same blonde and devastatingly handsome monkey wrench was back to muck things up once more.

"Hey," she said, catching their attention, "any progress?"

"Donaldson's financials came back," Cho told her, "He withdrew ten thousand dollars last month."

That raised a few eyebrows. "Have you talked to him about that?"

"He said he pulled it for emergencies."

She almost rolled her eyes at that. "All right, see if you can find out where the money went. We'll bring him in and lean on him again, see if he'll open up in interrogation."

They nodded and bent their heads back over their work and all Lisbon could do was stare at them again. She opened her mouth to speak and then shut it again. Why was this so hard? Lisbon cleared her throat and tried again, apparently blurting it out was good enough.

"Jane is back."

Three heads whipped up to gape at her openly. "What?" Grace asked the question all of them had been wondering…amongst a thousand others.

She sighed and stepped into the room, her hands clasped behind her back. "Jane is back in Sacramento. He came to see me last night."

Cho set his pen down and crossed his arms over his chest. "What did he say?"

"He wanted to see Daniel," Lisbon explained simply. She hesitated briefly before continuing, "He also said he was sorry."

"Do you believe him?" Rigsby asked.

She nodded. "Yes, Jane only apologizes when he really means it."

They were silent as they accepted that answer, or at least attempted to. Lisbon knew that they were all trying to figure out a way to actually forgive Jane for what happened. The truth was that she had expected it most; a part of her had constantly been waiting for him to leave. She hadn't expected it to be after the death of Red John but she'd known it would probably happen.

Grace met her eyes with a softness and concern. "What did you do? Are you okay with this?"

Lisbon was actually touched that they were thinking about her, about how she was feeling as opposed to just wanting the dirt on Jane's return. "I let Jane hold Daniel for a little while then he left. He said he would come by again and I'll wait to see what he does next."

"But how do you feel?" Grace repeated that question.

She faltered for a minute. "I don't know," Lisbon admitted, "I don't know what to think because I'm not sure what he's going to do." She sighed heavily. "I have a case to solve and a son to take care of, I don't have time to worry about what Jane may or may not do."

They simply stared back. "Okay," Cho said.

Lisbon nodded. "Okay, I'll see you guys later." She turned around and made her way back to her office where she could bury herself in work and maybe get her mind off of the questions she was too afraid to ask.

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><p>It was lunch hour at the CBI and most everyone was rushing out the doors to whatever delicatessen or taco truck tickled their fancy that day. Lisbon used to be a part of that crowd but now she was rushing out of the doors to head to her car so she could hurry home for a few minutes with her son.<p>

"Maria," Lisbon called out as she opened her front door, "I'm here!"

Her nanny smiled from where she was sitting on the sofa, the baby in her arms. "Mama came home to see you."

She grinned and reached for her son. "Just for a little while, I still have to get back to work but no one will mind if I'm a little late coming back from my lunch break." Daniel cooed as soon as he was in his mother's arms and Lisbon smiled into her son's eyes. "I just couldn't wait to see you."

Lisbon soothed her son against her chest, but looked towards Maria. "How has he been this morning?"

"He's perfect, he's already eaten so he'll be awake for you," Maria explained, "He was trying to roll over today."

That made Lisbon grin again. "Wow, he's really early for that." She kissed her son's head. "Oh my baby is a genius." That made Maria laugh but Lisbon was just so happy that she got to be with her child. But she was still thinking about what had happened the night before, how Jane had come by to see his son and then had left again.

"Has anyone else been by today?" Lisbon asked, meeting her nanny's eyes, "Anyone?"

"No."

"Nobody called or anything?"

"No, were you expecting someone?"

Lisbon shook her head. "No, I…I was just curious." She bounced her son on her shoulder and breathed in his scent. "No, no one was going to come."

But she'd hoped he would.

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After a good half an hour with her son that wasn't quite long enough, Lisbon managed to tear herself away from her child and make her way back to the CBI and her job. She was tired and a bit frustrated with the case. She was surprised to see that the bullpen was still empty when she walked by, either her team wasn't back yet from lunch or they were working the case, she hoped it was the latter.

She made her way to her office where she would bury herself in paperwork until they came back. Maybe the warrant for Donaldson's files would be in by now. She opened the door to her office and made two steps towards her desk before she saw the person sitting on her couch.

"Jesus Christ!" Lisbon exclaimed, reaching for her gun until she recognized who was there.

"Not the greeting I was expecting but I was amused," Jane told her with a soft smile. He had the case file open on his lap and a cup of tea in his hand. He had _tea_!

"What…what are you doing?" Lisbon stammered out, pressing one hand over her heart as she tried to come down from her freak-out.

"Looking over your case. It's a good thing too. Donaldson is completely innocent." He closed the file with a knowing smirk, "You need to look into Fredericks."

"Fredericks has an alibi."

"I'd check again, he's being too nice about the victim, a clear sign he's overcompensating."

She nodded her head, filing away that information. "Okay, Rigsby and Cho will check him out and see what he's hiding." Then they both remained where they were, her standing in the middle of the room and Jane sitting on the couch. She stared at him for a long time, waiting for him to speak but he seemed calm, as if he hadn't disappeared for seven months. "Jane…what is going on here?"

"I'm helping you with your case," He answered.

"And…?"

Jane sighed and put the teacup aside, now finally becoming serious. "I'm back."

"Back?" Lisbon asked, as if she didn't understand the definition.

"Back to work, back at the CBI, back to providing you with my delightful insights and commentary while solving crime."

She shook her head. "You've been gone for months, Jane. You can't just waltz back in here and pick up where you left off."

"I already spoke to Bertram, technically I'm not supposed to be back until Monday but I didn't think you would mind if I gave you a hand right now."

Lisbon set her things down and leaned up against her desk, still facing Jane. "So you are serious."

"Yes."

"And is this a permanent thing?"

Jane nodded. "I'm not going to leave again, when I say I'm back I mean that."

She let out a deep breath. "All right, I'll let the team know that you are here, that is if they don't see you lying on the couch first."

His lips twitched a little. "That's it? No resistance?"

"Well it isn't really my call if you work here or not," Lisbon pointed out, "And your insight is still valuable."

Jane sat up and walked over to her. She was a bit surprised when he took her hands in his, gently running the pad of his thumb over her knuckles, for a moment she forgot to breathe. "How is our son?"

Lisbon gasped a little, unable to look away from his eyes. There was such tenderness there, something she'd rarely seen from him. "He…he's fine. He tried to roll over today."

Jane grinned. "He's early."

She nodded and gave him a shaky smile. "I am glad you are back, Jane."

"I know," He told her, "I'm sorry that I left in the first place." He reached up with one hand to brush her hair back, his fingertips lightly touching her skin. "I want to see Daniel again."

Lisbon was a bit dazed, somehow she managed to speak. "Okay…we'll set something up."

He smiled softly and then took her hand and pressed a gently kiss on her knuckles; she felt her knees weaken a little at the touch of his lips. "Thank you."

She watched him leave with a thudding heart and a million questions. A part of her was kicking herself for letting him come back so easily but she also knew she didn't have much of a choice. The team needed him and he was the father of her child.

This was just how it was going to be.

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><p>Jane did just as she expected him to; he took a seat on his old brown couch with his cup of tea and set back ready to enjoy the reactions when they came in. For the moment he took another sip of the tea, letting the flavor hang on his tongue, it was better than thinking about how badly he'd failed these last few months.<p>

Things hadn't gone according to his plans, coming so close to losing Lisbon and their son like that had cut him so much deeper than he imagined. It went so terribly wrong and Jane was sure it was his own fault; he should have done a better job of protecting them. Actually they shouldn't have indulged in their desires at all but they had thrown caution the wind…which had resulted in Daniel.

He couldn't be angry about that, not in the least. Daniel was the best thing they had done, even if it had been accidental and ill advised. At least things had worked out and Daniel had been born without any other complications and now he and Lisbon were both safe. That was al that mattered to Jane, and perhaps he would find some way to atone for his foolish actions.

Jane didn't have much more time to mentally flog himself because the other three remaining members the team happened to walk in at the same time. He was right, it was quite amusing to sell all three of them freeze in their tracks and openly gape at him.

"Jane?" Van Pelt asked in shock.

He smiled but pretended that nothing was amiss. "Yes?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Sitting."

"Does Lisbon know you are sitting on the couch?" Cho asked. The Korean crossed his arms over his chest, giving him a real look of displeasure. He wasn't surprised that this one was particularly angry at him.

"Yes, where else would I be?"

"Oh I don't know, running away from everyone?" Van Pelt shot back at him.

"You know, running gets tiring after a while." Jane said casually. "It's a lot more fun to just sit and have a cup of tea."

"Then why run?" Rigsby question. "Why did you even take off to begin with?"

He sighed, becoming serious. "I thought I was doing the right thing. Obviously that was a stupid idea and I figured that out. Now I'm back where I need to be."

"And we are supposed to believe that?' Cho asked, still giving him a withering stare.

"Whether you believe it or not it is the truth." Jane explained, "I'm here and I'm not going away again. I'm here for Lisbon and our son."

"Did you tell Lisbon that?"

"Yes."

"And what did she say?" Van Pelt asked, she was right up there with Cho in the anger department.

"That I have a lot to make up for, and it will take time for things to get better."

"You do," Cho remarked.

"Trust me I know, especially to Lisbon and Daniel but I have the rest of my life to do it. Because I'm not going anywhere."

"Yeah, right." Rigsby huffed; he dismissed Jane's promise quickly. He shouldn't have been surprised since Rigsby had a son, he wouldn't understand why Jane felt the urge to leave.

"If I wasn't serious I wouldn't have come back."

"You have disappeared several times. What makes this time any different from all those other times?" Van Pelt asked.

He looked her right in the eye." This time I have nothing keeping me away and everything holding me here."

"You better be right, Jane otherwise there is nothing stopping us from hurting you." Cho told him and Jane knew he meant every word.

"I believe you. In fact if I leave again I give you permission to shoot me."

Cho didn't even blink. "We will hold you to that."

"Good," Jane said turning back to his tea. He knew they would continue to study him for a few moments before finding their desks once more. Despite their cold demeanor they were actually quite glad he was back, it was finally getting back to normal.

He was back where he was supposed to be.

* * *

><p>Just as she'd predicted the team found out about Jane's return before she could warn them, he was on his old couch as if nothing had happened. He'd greeted them kindly while they had all been more or less stunned. One by one they had all sought Lisbon out to get her take on this turn of events and she told them each the same thing.<p>

Jane was going to be working with them again, he said it was permanent this time and she had no reason to doubt him. As for her son, she was honest with them too. She didn't know what Jane planned to do in regards to Daniel but the fact that he wanted to see him again made her hopeful that they could come to some sort of arrangement.

Lisbon wasn't entirely sure how she felt about Jane's return and his desire to see their child. She was back to feeling uncertain like she had for most of her pregnancy. She'd quietly waited for him to bring her world crashing down around her and then when it had happened she'd still been devastated. In some ways she was waiting for him to do it again, except right now she couldn't see any hesitation or pain that she'd seen in him for the past ten years of her life.

She went home early after Jane's insight about Fredericks proved to be correct. There was no reason to stick around for paperwork that could wait until tomorrow. Daniel was still awake when she made it through the door and she smiled as soon as she heard his soft little coos. "Hello my sweet boy," Lisbon said, taking Daniel into her arms. She smiled down at her son but addressed Maria. "How has he been today?"

"He's been wonderful," Maria explained, "always alert. We will have our hands full when he gets older and starts getting into things."

That made Lisbon grin. "I'm not surprised."

She spoke with her nanny a few more minutes, mostly to discuss her schedule for the rest of the week before Maria began to gather her things to leave for the day. Lisbon preoccupied herself by keeping Daniel in her arms while rummaging through the fridge and cupboards to see what she could make in a pinch for dinner. It looked like leftover Chinese food might be the winner.

A knock at the door interrupted the simple moment as she pulled out the cartons. "Could you please answer that for me?" She asked Maria sweetly. The woman quickly complied while Lisbon bounced her son in her arms to get him in a more comfortable position while she debated the freshness of the egg rolls.

The sound of a man's voice stopped any of those thoughts cold.

Lisbon walked around the counter and out of the kitchen and now she could see that Maria was looking very confused while Jane stood in the doorway.

Of course he would show up, he was never known for his convenient timing.

"Jane? What are you doing here?"

"I told you I wanted to see Daniel again," he replied simply. Yes he had, and she had assumed that they would discuss some date in the near future not that he would show up unannounced at her house again.

She was a little annoyed at him but the part of her that was touched by his strong desire to see their son was winning this battle. It didn't help that Jane was now staring at Daniel with a look of overwhelming love.

"Jane this is Daniel's nanny, Maria," Lisbon said, quickly introducing them, "Maria, this is Patrick Jane…he's Daniel's father."

Maria's eyes widened at that statement, she had been told that Lisbon was a single mother when she was hired. Now it appears there was a father figure in the picture after all, Lisbon knew she would have to explain eventually but now wasn't necessarily the time.

"Well, it is very nice to meet you," Maria said politely shaking his hand, "I see the resemblance between you and Daniel."

Jane clearly liked that statement and he grinned at the woman, no surprise that his charm quickly won Maria over. "Thank you, I'm very proud of my son."

Maria blushed and smiled like a silly girl, the normal reaction when Jane's revealed his dazzling smile. She grinned at Lisbon. "Well I'll leave you two alone now."

"Thank you, Maria, I'll see you in the morning," Lisbon said as the woman let herself out. Then she shook her head at Jane. "You could have called before just showing up."

"I figured it was better to ask for forgiveness then to seek permission," Jane told her smoothly. He stepped forward to lightly trace one of his son's chubby cheeks with his fingertip. "Besides, you aren't upset with me."

Lisbon rolled her eyes and placed Daniel in Jane's welcome arms. "Play with your son while I get something to eat." She thought about it for a moment before offering, "Would you like some? It's just leftover Chinese."

"Is it from Tai Fang?"

"Yes."

"Well I never turn that down."

She smiled now as she turned into the kitchen again leaving Jane alone with Daniel. She did peek over several times while the food was heating up to keep an eye on the two of them. But Jane was a perfect father in this instance, sitting on the ground with Daniel and entertaining him a couple of his small stuffed animals. Daniel stared at the toys, his eyes following them and he started giggling after a short while. That only made his father beam with pride.

This was the kind of happiness Lisbon had never seen on him before…and it was beautiful.

Lisbon piled on the moo shu pork and some fried rice, placing a cold egg roll on each plate before carrying them both into the living room. "Put him in his bouncing chair," she told Jane, "he loves it."

Jane did so with only a little reluctance, he loved playing with his son more than his desire for food but she'd extended the effort and he had to accept. They both sat on the couch and ate in silence for a moment, looking at their child every so often. Finally the tension was getting to her…and the questions. She set her fork down and met his eyes. "Jane…why are you here?"

He raised an eyebrow at that question. "I'm here to see my son."

"I mean why are you back?"

"Did you not want me to come back?"

Lisbon shook her head. "Of course I did but…but you left. I was six months pregnant and you just…left."

Jane looked guilty then and he looked down. "Yes I did."

"Why?"

He sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes with his right hand. "It's complicated, Teresa."

She looked away, feeling more than a little self-conscious. "Were you always planning to leave?"

"No," Jane answered quickly, "that was never my intention. When you told me you were pregnant I intended to be there with you till the very end."

"But you weren't."

"No…I wasn't." He paused for a moment, "Red John had you, he was going to kill you and he very nearly did. You and our son."

"But he failed," Lisbon reminded him, "He failed and Cho killed him."

"And I failed," Jane explained, "I failed to protect you. I promised you I would keep you safe and I didn't…I couldn't stay after that." Jane met her eyes again. "Do you understand?"

Lisbon shook her head. "No…but I know that I never truly understood the hold Red John had on you and how that affects you. In some ways it isn't your fault, after everything that happened it makes sense that you don't act rationally…but this wasn't about just me but my child. It's harder to get over it that way."

"I know you can't forgive me yet," Jane told her softly, "but I hope you are willing to try."

"It's going to take time," she replied.

"I know."

She pulled her knees up to her chest but never took her eyes off him. "Are you better now?"

"Yes," he said definitively, "I'm not going to leave you or Daniel ever again. I don't need to, the monsters aren't chasing me anymore and…and I can breathe again."

Lisbon smiled softly. "That's good to hear, Jane."

He smiled back at her and reached over to take her hand. For a second she let herself enjoy that feeling, that warmth and security that he was back in her life. At the same time she felt a bit of resentment and fear, anger that this had been taken away from her when she needed it most. So she pulled her hand away and sat up straighter on the couch. She cleared her throat before grabbing their plates.

"Go ahead and play with Daniel some more, I'm going to put these in the sink."

She knew she was acting a little cold but she couldn't help it. She hadn't lied she was so glad that he was here and finally able to show their son the love he deserved. But Lisbon couldn't shake the nagging feeling that this was all too much too fast…that something just had to go wrong again.

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Lisbon took the time to do the dishes and get a few loads of laundry done, the living room was fairly quiet from the most part and she had to resist the urge to check on Jane and Daniel several times. Finally she ran out of excuses and made her way over to the living room but she was caught off guard by what she found.

Jane was laying back on the couch, Daniel fast asleep in his arms and it looked like Jane had dozed off a bit himself. It was adorable, there was no denying that and she took a moment to admire how sweet it was to see father and son fast asleep together.

"You're drooling," Lisbon whispered to Jane.

"What?" He said blinking open his eyes.

"You fell asleep."

"So did he," Jane said, sitting up with the baby still clutched in his lap. "Apparently he shares my affinity for couches."

"He does but unlike you he also sleeps in his crib."

"Well I hope he sleeps better than his mother." Jane said with a grin, "You move around far too much."

"You are going to make fun of my sleeping patterns? When is the last time you slept a full eight hours?"

"With an infant?" Jane asked now, "I could ask you the same thing."

"I'm more than happy to allow him to disturb my sleep. At least he doesn't have nightmares."

"True but at least I always tried to make it up to you when I woke you up." The spark in his eyes was innuendo enough to make her blush.

"That was a different time."

"Yes, I know," Jane said gently, "but it wasn't a bad time. And some good things came from it."

"No the beginning was great and he is perfect but not all can be forgiven."

"You're right, but I'm here, Teresa." Jane reminded her, "I'm here because of you and this beautiful little boy we created."

She looked down at their son that was still in his arms and she smiled softly, there was no denying just how amazing it was that they had a child now. Some days she still just wanted to pinch herself as if this was all still a dream. But the nightmares were over; this was her happy ending, her child.

She just wondered if it was Jane's too.

Jane sat up and softly put the baby down in his bouncy seat so he could sleep comfortably. That baby stirred only a little but kept his eyes shut, his mouth gently moving as if dreaming about sucking on a bottle. They both looked at their son for a moment, silently in awe of this child.

Lisbon didn't expect to feel Jane to gently grab her hand, slipping his fingers through her. She turned to look up at him; his eyes were fixed on her. "I never thanked you," Jane said, his voice low and husky, "I never thanked you for this…for our son."

She felt her cheeks flush a little. "It was never the right time…and then you were gone."

Jane shook his head, reaching over to twirl on lock of hair around his finger. "Thank you, thank you for giving me a son."

Lisbon didn't know what to say, then she simply couldn't speak at all, not with how he was looking at her. She was thrown back to the night Daniel was created, the same couch, same feelings…same look.

She shouldn't have been surprised when Jane leaned over and gently pressed his lips to hers. Lisbon couldn't breathe, couldn't think, just let his kiss wash over her as a sweet tender and tentative gesture. She closed her eyes and let herself feel, let herself give back because there was no hiding what he could do to her. He'd always had her under a spell, always.

It took a moment for her to realize what was going on, to remember everything that had happened. It was enough to pull her out of this moment and back into reality. She pulled back, turning her cheek and shaking her head with a whispered. "No."

Jane sighed and she saw sadness and disappointment in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I kind of got carried away."

Lisbon stood up, her legs trembled a little, and she crossed her arms over her chest. "I know and I just…I need you to leave right now, I need to be alone."

Now he really looked sad and she could tell he wanted to protest, a part of her wanted him to fight. Would he fight for her? Could he do it?

Jane stood up. "You're right. I should go."

Sadness filled her. No, why would he fight? Why would he try when he never had before? Always an accident, never intent…and never meaningful.

He smiled at her and leaned down to kiss their son one more time before heading towards the door. But Jane stopped to look at her. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said, his words like a promise.

She nodded but didn't move, she heard the door close behind him but she stayed where she was for the moment. Then she sank down onto that couch and breathed in and out, trying to get herself under control. This was all a whirlwind, so much happening, too much at once. The knot in her stomach tightened while her lips still tingled from his kiss.

She closed her eyes, tears slipping down her cheeks. God she was still stuck in his web, would she ever find a way out?

* * *

><p>"Any answers in that cup?"<p>

Lisbon looked up from her hot cup of coffee, a bit surprised to hear such a quip from Cho of all people but then again she had been staring into it as if it would tell her fortune. "No, I guess I should have tried reading tea leaves instead."

"You'd have to ask Jane for help with that," Cho pointed out, taking the seat across from her and setting his own cup of coffee on the table.

She huffed a little. "Well I guess I have the opportunity too."

They didn't say anything for a moment as she went back to looking into her coffee cup and Cho merely studied her. "Is everything okay?" He finally asked, she knew he was worried about her, he had been for a while. "Jane hasn't done anything to you has he?"

"No," she explained, "he's been great really. He's very insistent about seeing Daniel and that he's going to stay this time." But she knew there was something lacking in her voice, something that showed she wasn't entirely happy with this arrangement either.

Cho noticed. "What is it?"

She sighed and looked over at him. "It's all…fast. Suddenly he comes back into my life and it's back to normal in a flash…it's like nothing happened at all."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I don't know," Lisbon admitted. "I feel…I don't know how I feel really. I'm scared I guess. He was gone just as quickly and now he's back, will he leave again?"

"He says he won't."

"Jane says a lot of things. He told me he wouldn't leave when I told him I was pregnant, look how well he kept that promise."

Cho shrugged. "It's different now."

"How?"

"Daniel is here, he's seen him, it's harder to leave something like that."

Lisbon was quiet for a moment. "It's true, it is different now that Daniel is really here…but that doesn't mean something won't scare him away."

"You think Jane scares that easily?"

"I don't really know. If Red John were around I'd say yes, but he isn't anymore. But then again he was dead and Jane still left me that night so who's to say what will happen?"

"The difference is you are looking for a reason for him to leave," Cho pointed out, "but t that reason doesn't exist."

"Yet," Lisbon tacked on to which the other man just shrugged again. She looked away, chewing on her bottom lip as she thought about whether or not she should be completely honest with Cho. Finally she literally just blurted it out. "Jane kissed me last night."

The other agent didn't react at all. "Why?"

"He just did," Lisbon told him, "I stopped him and he apologized and then he left."

"Did you want it to happen?"

"I don't know," she glared at the look Cho gave her. "I _don't_," she insisted, "before he left I would have been fine with him kissing me but he's been gone six months and suddenly he's trying? He didn't try before."

"He must have done something," Cho said dryly, "since Daniel exists."

She glared at Cho for the very unhelpful response. "That isn't what I meant." She sighed heavily. "We talked about it, _once_. But it was a very uncertain talk, that once Red John was dead we could revisit things. But that was before I was pregnant and everything happened and before he ran out on me. Things have changed."

"Have they?"

"You really think I'd just fall back into him after that?"

Cho gave her a look. "I think it's going to be hard for you to pretend you don't have feelings for him, since he's Daniel's father."

Lisbon considered that for a little while, fiddling with an empty packet of sugar on the table. "I don't know how I feel. I know I wanted this, I wanted everything but it's going to be hard for me to forget what happened."

"You're angry."

"Yes," she said softly, "and sad but mostly…mostly I was disappointed. I sort of expected something like that to happen but hoped I was wrong. Unfortunately Jane proved that I'm right to always expect the worst from him."

Cho looked at her seriously. "But it is different, now, _he_ is different. He doesn't have the same problems, he doesn't have the obsession consuming him."

She nodded. "Yeah, I think he can get better." But Lisbon looked away. "It's just too much, too fast. I need time to take it all in."

"Then tell him that's what you need."

"Jane is never very good with listening to me."

Cho took a sip of his coffee. "No, he isn't."

Lisbon look down into her coffee a third time. "I just want to keep Daniel safe, that's all I can do. I'll give Jane as much as I can for now, when I'm more certain we can figure things out."

"Sounds like you know what you want."

She didn't say anything but silently disagreed with Cho. The reason she was so conflicted was because she _didn't_ know what she wanted. She didn't know what the future would be and she didn't know what Jane would do with her and their child. Not knowing was the scariest thing she could think of.

Not knowing meant he could disappoint her all over again.

* * *

><p>Lisbon was finishing up some paperwork when Jane walked right in, not that there was anything unusual about that. He always just waltzed into her life from the first day they met. "Hey," he said smiling in greeting.<p>

She returned his smile, that was something she could do easily at least. "Hey, we don't have a new case yet and you don't officially start till next week. Did you miss the couch that much?"

"Yes," Jane told her with a grin, "but that isn't the only reason I came."

"Happy to see where I stand on your list of priorities." He looked amused at her sarcasm and it made her feel good too. It felt like they were falling back on to their old banter, the witty remarks that they enjoyed trading. "What are you doing here, Jane?"

He took a seat across from her, still wearing a satisfied smile. "I thought it was time that we discussed us."

That last word filled her with a mixed back of emotions. The term was vague which fit their relationship. Did he mean to talk about the work? Their child? Their past? The fact that they had been lovers for one night? Maybe all of the above.

She set her pen down and studied him carefully. "Us?"

"Us," Jane repeated, "You, me and Daniel."

Lisbon wasn't sure exactly how she felt about that, she chose relief since it was a far easier subject to discuss then their own torrid past. "All right. What did you want to talk about?"

Jane smiled softly at her. "We have a beautiful little boy."

"I know," she replied, her tone gentle with pride.

"Of course you do but I'm still amazed," Jane admitted, "He's so much more than I imagined he would be."

Lisbon blushed and ducked her head. She was thrilled by the compliment but even happier with the idea that Jane had been thinking about their child. She shouldn't have been surprised but when he'd been around during her pregnancy she'd wondered if he was spending more time thinking about Red John then their coming baby. Then after he left she didn't even try to think about what he was caught up in, she could only imagine what led him to leave her and their baby.

"It is good that you are back," she said, "And I'm glad you have gotten to see Daniel. You should come and see him."

"I'm happy you feel that way," Jane replied. "I mean, we are his parents, you and I. A child should have both his mother and his father in his life."

"Yes," Lisbon agreed, "that generally is the best way."

Jane nodded. "I'm arranging a few things, setting up a place for Daniel and I want to get whatever he needs. I'd like to talk to you about your expenses."

"What?" Lisbon asked, now feeling confused…and a little sick to her stomach at what Jane might be implying.

"Well you have a nanny and I assume other childcare, as well as everything else that goes into caring for a baby on your own," Jane reminded her, "Not to mention everything else that happened during your pregnancy. I want to pay for half of it."

Lisbon shook her head. "That isn't necessary."

"Of course it is. I am his father." Jane continued calmly, "I also wanted to talk about setting up a schedule."

Now Lisbon felt like she might actually started to panic. "A schedule?"

Jane must have seen how upset she was so he leaned forward in his seat. "I know we will have to start this slowly and do this however it is best for Daniel. Perhaps it could start off just as daily visits and then maybe I could take him for a few hours on the weekend. When he's older we can start letting him stay overnight and then figure out whatever schedule is appropriate."

She started shaking her head quickly. "No."

That perked up Jane's interest. "No?"

"You have been back three days and you already think I'm just going to hand over my child?"

"It's not like that."

"Then what is it like?" Lisbon asked but she didn't wait for an answer. "You left. You walked out of that hospital and I didn't hear from you until you showed up on my doorstep after my son was born. Now you are telling me that we are going to share him? No. I won't allow it."

"I'm his father," Jane reminded her quickly, "I should be in his life."

"I'm his mother," Lisbon told him. "I'm his mother who has been there every day of his life. His father can't say the same."

He looked like she'd struck him hard with that comment. "You know it isn't that simple."

"It never is with you," she remarked, "but I'm not handing my son over to someone who could up and leave again."

"I won't."

"I don't believe you. Now do what you are best at and leave. _Now_."

Jane stared at her, a mixture of shock and pain in his expression but Lisbon didn't waver at all. She just stared him down until he finally stood up and walked out of the room. Only then did she let herself breathe again. Her hands were shaking but she didn't know if it was from fear or just adrenaline, it didn't really matter.

He'd just burst into her life again and she was still trying to sort all of it out…and now he wanted her son? That was not something she could accept not at all. Jane was very good at a lot of things. Hurting people just happened to be what he was best at.

She'd be damned if one of them would be her son.

* * *

><p>AN: Well what did you think? Jane and Lisbon are going to be involved in a BIG fight for their child and it's going to get UGLY, like REALLY ugly. You'll want to stick around for this one.

Headsup: I'm going to update Poison and Wine very very soon.


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